Life of the Party

One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. The end.

Oh, you want me to elaborate? (No? Well, I’m going to anyway.) This turd of a movie stars Melissa McCarthy (it was also co-written with her husband, who also directed the movie) as a mousy mother whose husband files for divorce right after they drop their daughter off for her senior year of college. McCarthy then talks in a weird high pitched old lady voice non-stop for the next 90 minutes. Other characters are allowed to speak in those few moments where she has had to stop to take a breath. It’s a relentless unfunny raining blows down upon the senses. Her voice and this movie bludgeons the ears. With teeth gnashed, and the desire to live rended, viewers are left wondering where things have gone so terribly wrong with their life. This film is less insulting bad comedy and more an introspection into the horrors humans will commit upon their fellow man.

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You’re An Idiot: Grandpa Joe

Grandpa Dickbutt

This series examines baffling decisions and characters from popular films.

Poor old, infirm Grandpa Joe. For 20 years he laid in bed. Surely, he felt terrible being a burden to his destitute daughter, who besides having a young son, had to feed four aging adults. If only, for even a day, he could stand on his own two feet, and earn even the smallest pittance to help his family. Even for one extra morsel of stale, moldy bread he obviously would have, but alas. Grandpa Joe, bed bound for life. Cast out by society. And then one day Charlie comes home with a Golden Ticket…

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Avengers: Infinity War

I’m honestly not even sure how to review this movie for multiple reasons. For one, there’s about a million threads happening, and it would be tedious to go through them all. Secondly, SHOCKING things happen that will SURPRISE you. Nothing will EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. (But not really.) I would love to just give them all away, but people would be angry.

If you haven’t watched the 112 other Marvel movies up to this point (I haven’t!) all you need to know is that Thanos, who looks like Dickbutt here more than anything, has two (I think) of the (6) Infinity Stones, and is working hard to get the rest of them. His motive is to wipe out half of all living things as a cure for overpopulation.

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