Halloween

Halloween is the sequel that pretends none of the other sequels happened. Considering that outside of Halloween II they are all various states of terrible, this isn’t a huge deal. Picking up 40 years after the events of the first movie we find Michael Myers institutionalized, Laurie Strode a highly armed, paranoid shut-in, and the scourge of the Internet, True Crime Podcasters, trying to interview both of them. Myers treats the podcasters with the respect they deserve.

We learn that Laurie has an estranged daughter and teenaged granddaughter, and has spent her life trying to prepare her family for the inevitable time when Michael Myers gets loose, and tries to kill again. This is mostly met derision and disbelief. It doesn’t help she’s turned into an unkempt doomsday prepper. In this case, her paranoia isn’t totally unfounded. While being transported to a new facility Michael Myers escapes, and once again starts murdering the townsfolk on Halloween. Luckily, some of his first victims are the the aforementioned podcasters. (Just 8 million more true crime podcasters to go!)

In the events that follow, we find out just how terrible Laurie was in preparing. She routinely makes baffling decisions, screeches at her family, and gets them in more danger than if they were left alone. The fact that the police determine that her family is safest at Laurie’s barely fortified compound is the scariest part of this movie. The most irritating detail is the kitchen island that swings open to reveal a hidden underground bunker opened by a remote control. They keep that control right next to the island. Why not take that with you? Michael could just open it at his leisure. While hidden in said bunker, Laurie tries to shoot Michael through the floor. Not only does this not work, but now he knows they are down there. Why even have a bunker? At one point she goes room to room in the house looking for him, and uses the end of the shotgun to open closet doors, rendering having a shotgun useless if he was actually hiding in them. Wasn’t she training her whole life for this? The rooms are equipped with descending iron bars to keep him trapped, but they still has regular windows. Finally, the series of events that have to happen in order to trap him like she planned is nonsensical. Considering how fast Michael Myers walks the best plan would have been to drive a few states over. They could safely live out the rest of their days, and he’d arrive just in time to see their funerals. Also, there’s no proof he even cares about Laurie or her family. He’s just a killing machine.

All that said, this is mostly a throwback to classic slasher films with fewer boobs. (Outside the main characters’ personalities.) We could definitely use more of those kinds of films. A big part of the fun was watching in disbelief at the things they were doing. I also thought the movie was going to take a ludicrous twist with Michael Myers’ doctor about halfway through that would have been amazing. I would have definitely enjoyed the movie even more. Should you see the movie? I think just watching the original would be more fulfilling, but it was still fun.

Halloween 2018:

First Man

First Man is an actual good movie starring my boy Baby Goose as Neil Armstrong. This movie is definitely one that needs seen on the largest screen possible. The science and space portion of this film are expertly done, and it would be easy to believe it was all archival footage if we didn’t know better. The way the movie was filmed was fascinating as well. It’s very loud, and uses interesting lighting and angles to make the viewers feel like they’re on one of those rockets screaming into space, while the home life scenes seemed to almost be 60s home movie style in terms of how the camera moved and the color choices. It offers a glimpse into what was happening in Neil’s life, which isn’t traditionally a huge topic, but also into how dangerous and daring the space program was including the tragedy of the Apollo I crew. There was also some controversy that they didn’t show Armstrong and Aldrin planting the flag on the moon’s surface, but that complaint misses the point. This is a human story about someone serving their country, not a story about the country. Also, the flag is shown at least twice. So, the whole thing was dumb to bitch about. (Spoiler alert: They land on the moon.)

First Man: