Here are a bunch of movies I watched, and in true form don’t feel like writing full reviews about any of them. That would require a lot of WORK and TIME. Things that I have in abundance, but choose not to do it anyway. Here we go!

Aquaman

This is one fever dream of a movie with cheesy comedy, a lot of ridiculous sea creatures fighting each other, and Jason Momoa shirtless. At one point it turns into Land of the Lost, there’s a H.P. Lovecraft creature that Aquaman rides on, and the dialog is insane. Do you think when sea people poop it kind of just sticks to their butts like when fish poop? I’ve been told that comic movies are only as good as their villains, and my sources tell me Aquaman 2 will have the biggest villain to fish of all time:

Bird Box

I’m almost positive the reason people like this movie is because it feels like you are getting a Hollywood movie for “free.” Hey, it’s people I’ve seen in things acting in a movie that streams instead of being in the theater! Is it any good? Well, no, but Sandra Bullock bumps into things blindfolded for awhile. What sense will the monsters attack next? What if monsters made all food taste like Brussels sprouts? Someone get Ethan Hawke on the line.

Bumblebee

Don’t be fooled that Michael Bay is listed as a producer. This is not a Michael Bay Transformers movie. This one has the spirit of the original cartoon (and the Gen 1 character models.) So, yeah, it’s aimed more to kids, but it’s worth a watch if you liked Transformers to begin with.

Bohemian Rhapsody

When I saw that Mike Myers was in the credits I wondered what guy with a Scottish accent he would be playing. Turns out it was a record executive. What’s funny is they made that character up just for the film. They must have really wanted him to be in the movie. Also, they unnecessarily play with the timeline for dramatic effect, and it bugs me. I read another review that said it plays like the Wikipedia entry version of a movie. I agree. The music is good, though!

Overlord

I spent this whole movie thinking the main Nazi in this movie was a slightly puffy Michael Shannon for some reason, and it turns out it was the guy who plays Euron Greyjoy in Game of Thrones. Oops. Anyway, like most J.J. Abrams movie it really wants to be good, but falls short.

Should you see any of these movies? Who knows. For posterity’s sake I rate them all: