Note: This holiday season I’ll be reviewing choice Hallmark Christmas movies. Assuming I don’t lose my mind first.

First and foremost, The Spirit of Christmas is a Christmas movie like Die Hard is. Which is to say it’s not one at all. (I am very prepared to fight you about this opinion.) The story happens to take place during the Christmas season for no particular reason. It tells the story of an unfeeling lawyer Kate, who is less unlucky in love and more revels in being emotionless. Can any living person melt the icy bonds on her heart?